Todays is the Salmon Bake at our church. We're going to go, even though we haven't been to church in over a year. I just wasn't getting enough out of it. Felt like I was putting in more than I was getting out. And, maybe this part is childish: Nobody seems to have missed me. The only time I'm ever contacted is during the annual fundraiser. Otherwise, no "Hey, we've missed you in church." No one ever noticed. Or if they did, the didn't act on it. And that's after serving on a committee, chairing another, teaching a class for a year, attending an adult ed class, working at the book store and belonging for several weeks to a so-called "friendship group". Ha! Now that I write it all out, I see. I wonder if my daughter will be me for Sunday School? If she really wants to go, I'll take her. I don't know if that means dragging my son (who has made it quite clear he DOES NOT want to go) or not.

I like the Covenant Circle. That's the small group from the church that meets in each others homes twice a month for more intimate spiritual discussions. People miss me when Im not there. People talk to me when I am there. I talk to them. We interact. It helps my spirit. Isn't that what church is supposed to be? I mean, isn't someone supposed to meet me partway? I guess that's the problem I have at church. NOBODY seems to be interested in meeting me to help me along. Not even the minister, who strikes me as polite but distant and not all that warm. I guess I should try to get to know him better.

There. There it is. My case in point:

Should he try to get to know me better, too?

Maybe I should find a Buddhist place.